By the time I was a teenager, we began hosting 4th of July parties at our house in the country. My brother and I would pull money from all of the adults as they arrived to buy fireworks later, and we would spend the day playing baseball or volleyball with our friends and relatives. At night, we usually had around an hour's worth of fireworks to shoot. I have no idea how they rationalized trusting teenagers with handling explosives and incendiaries. I remember the last year I did that, I think I was 19, I brought my girlfriend at the time to meet my family. Such a clear memory of it.
In 2006, I was in Oman for the 4th of July. They don't celebrate that over there. I thought of letting them know what was up, but I settled for a small celebration with the 5 Americans I was with. We had dinner on the rooftop of our villa overlooking the Arabian Sea. Instead of the usual regional cuisine, we grilled burgers and fries and made pizza in honor of home. No fireworks, but I can remember vividly the sun setting behind us, the golden tint of the sky and the constant noise from flow of the ocean breaking 50 yards from our table.
The next year I lived in Colorado. I watched fireworks from the hood of my car pulled up to a nice park in Gunnison. I bought a bag of sunflower seeds that I consumed over the 4 hours I was there, and watched the people settle in and converse, the kids run around and play, the teenagers sneak booze in through water bottles, and the couples smile and be disgusting. At one moment I went back into my car and put my head in my hands and cried. I cried so hard. All of my lonliness and fear from finding myself in Colorado alone boiled up and came out. It was triggered by the beauty and jealousy that I had for the beings around me enjoying our nation's holiday. I remember thinking how the 4th of July seemed to begin marking how my life was changing.
In 2008 I found myself back home in Texas, I wanted to be there so badly. I wanted to get things back to the way they used to be. I wanted to be with my family plaing and shooting fireworks like when I was a teenager. But I was older, I had changed. I enjoyed myself but it wasn't the experience was far from the same. I still felt lonely, I felt like I was supposed to be somewhere else.
I watched Kansas preform at Schofield Barracks in Hawaii the next year. I was on a military base with servicemen and women, wasted on rum. I barely remember watching the fireworks I was so drunk, the ceremony leading up to the evening was remarkable because of the military fanfare, I'm glad I wasn't out of it yet by that point. Everyone there was enjoying the holiday, I realized at one moment that I had not been around so many drunk people at one point in my life.
The next year I was in Missouri. 2 days earlier I had been in Jordan and Turkey, and was trying to cope with the fact that I was back in the United States celebrating the nation's independence. I was with my girlfriend and two of my best college friends, and we made our way to someone's house for whiffle ball, grilling, and beer. I remember thinking about how glad I was to be back with my girl, back in the States, back to making jokes, drinking alcohol, eating American food, cursing, hearing English, and just seeing Americans be the silly creatures they are. The mosquitos that night were horrendous at the park where we watched the fireworks, but the display lasted very long, I think it may have been the longest finale I had ever seen.
A day ago I celebrated the most recent Independence Day here in Washington D.C. Oddly enough I was with one of my Missouri buddies from the year before, and my best friend. My best bud made the trip here to see me and experience the 4th at the nation's capital. My Missouri friend just happened to be working at an army base a couple hours away. We listened to music and drank at a steady pace for most of the day. It intially seemed as though it may be a waste of the day to spend it at my house here instead of out amongst the populace and monuments, but it is now one of the best days I've ever had. My best friend and I talked about girls, relationships, our friends, politics, philosophy, sports, alochol, our families...just an honest heterosexual heart-to-heart hahaha. By the evening, we still hadn't made but any plans for the fireworks, so we began to take the bus to the mall. It just so happend an aquaintance I met a couple weeks back was on the bus with a few friends, and they quickly invited us to join them on the top floor terrace overlooking the national mall. Lord, I just watched the fireworks over the national monuments from the best seat in the house with free food, free beer, and wonderful company.
What have I done to deserve so many awesome, memorable, unique 4th of July's? It is truly overwhelming.
1 comment:
You are wonderful and that's why you deserved those happy moments.
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