For Easter this year I decided to go with my girlfriend to her home in St. Louis. I had already met her parents and one of her siblings, but I knew this time I was going to meet much of her extended family. I didn't care though. I didn't go with her because I wanted to meet her family, I did it for her. I knew it would make her glad. To be honest, I would have rather been at home in Texas with my family, but alas couples must reciprocate.
The weekend very scary. It had always been a big deal in my family when a cousin or sibling brought a significant other to a family gathering. Whoever that was, experienced close inspections, questioning, silent judgment, and had to put on pleasant presentation for everyone. I felt like that, and although it was obvious my girlfriend's family adored me, it only made me more nervous. Expectations are created in the minds of relatives, that we are eventually to be together for years to come and eventually married. 3 of her aunts brought me candy gifts. I felt guilty to be so trusted and thought of.
The photographs on her mother's refrigerator were of her sister and her husband, married last year, her other sister and her fiance to be wed later this year, and then my girlfriend and I taken by the fireplace a few months ago. Is it weird for all of this to make me uncomfortable? I have serious commitment issues. Or maybe I'm just that unsure about this girl. Maybe it's both. A year from now will I still be on the fridge? Marriage scares me, I'm not comfortable with it. I don't know how I'm going to deal with it. Maybe I haven't met the right one. Maybe it just takes time. Hell if I know.
2 comments:
Ryan, you're in love, deal. That means that you've at least entertained the idea of a future together and all that comes with it. You're great, you've always been great, and when you decide you want to take that step, you'll be great at that too. I think you think you're supposed to have commitment issues, but you really don't. Just go with it :)
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