rawr

As a guy, it always feels like that when I have a girlfriend, the opportunities for encounters with other women sky-rocket.  Girls seem to just fall in my lap, and the temptation is almost unbearable.  Whether its a date, a hookup, or even a girl that is genuinely attractive enough in mind and body that it makes me question the relationship I have...the grass always seems greener.  

Not long ago I was hit on by a possible cougar.  I say possible cougar, but more likely she was just 5-10 years older than me.  She was gorgeous.  My buddy and I were at the bar downtown watching the Mav's game when her and her friend came in and ordered drinks next to us.  I noticed that she was attractive, but I tried to avoid the temptation of flirting by ignoring her and watching the game and chatting with my friend.  The woman and her friend kept trying to talk to us, and our indifference and lack of attention only made her more interested.  

She looked to be in her early 30s.  There is something about a woman around that age that is a clear separation from being a girl.  Eventually she gave me a firm nudge to get my attention back, and talked to me about how she was in town for some modeling work.  I smirked at first and thought to myself "yeah right", but after more observation I started believed it.  A few drinks later and she had grabbed my ass, it became very clear that she wanted me.  

There is this point I think, most girls and guys who have had one night stands before, for better or worse, recognize it.  This point may be instinctive, but you and her both realize where the situation is heading, and nothing needs to even be said, you just know.  Fear started to grow inside me, she wanted me to go home with her, and her aggressiveness and dominant personally made her more attractive than I could handle.  I wanted her, and that's what scared me.  I have a girlfriend, she is wonderful.  But I became afraid that the temptation and excitement of sleeping with this woman would be something I might play out.  I was scared at the fact that it was so easy to make this happen.  My strategy of trying to be disinterested only brought her closer and made her more playful and aggressive, she kept her body directly in front of me, her face a foot from mine.

I have a good conscience, I've never cheated before, and the scenarios to do so have always been avoided by that part of my mind.  It has proven to not allow me to do such a thing in the past, because being a male sure as hell doesn't agree with it.  So, I quickly convinced my friend to go to another bar, escape seemed the only defense I had from her.  Her disappointment in my leaving even made me feel rejected as well.  I felt defeated and stupid for turning the situation down, even if my conscience knew I was doing the right thing.  Her and her friend asked what bar we were headed to, and we told them, it was a good walk away and not a usual place for 30 somethings.  Perhaps 10 minutes after my friend and I arrived, she came in the door with her friend looking for me.