Females. Is it such a focus of the 20-something male? Has it always been? Is it just me? I'd like to know, then I can work on figuring out why they are something I think about nearly every sleeping and waking hour of my life.
When I am with someone, that girl is nearly all that I see. I'm a loyal guy by nature. But the fact still remains in that I think about that girl throughout my day. I'll end up thinking things like: how great they are to me, something they did that confused me, how I couldn't wait for the next time we would have sex, a new idea I could do for them to impress them, a particular trait that I wish would change in them, or just an imaginary conversation in my head between the two of us. That girl is a relentless thought.
Yet even when I'm single, my focus is still women. I'm making plans, playing out conversations to make various girls laugh based off of their individual sense of humor, gauging things I like or don't like about them, texting and calling them, imagining the next level of a relationship with them, and wondering what exactly they think about me. Those girls are relentless thoughts.
All day long I'm checking my phone, playing the guy-likes gal game and cautiously calculating my moves in a way that helps me continue being myself without looking like a man-whore. What can I say, I feel more comfortable respecting a woman's boundaries.
Still, I didn't realize until recently that females occupy my thoughts all day. What gives? Isn't that kind of a big deal; that I spend so much of my time focusing on that? At least it hasn't become a distraction...or has it?
Perhaps it is simply a need that I am trying to fill. Perhaps it is a temporary facet of my life until I get older. Perhaps it is society. And perhaps it will be something I will manage the rest of my life. Interestingly enough, I just want one. Just one. I want mine, damn it. Females.
