i'm tired of being here

I'm tired of being here, on this hill, where I'm sure to find my last meal. No-one lives to be three hundred years. On this hill, nothing grows except greed. You will stay and finish your work, as long as need be.

I'm so sick of being here. I can't do this anymore from a social standpoint. I work all week with no one within 30 years my age, whether that's being confined to a hot, frustrating cubicle, or hiking by myself all day in the woods. Then I go home to my RV by myself, feed myself, and fight my mind to keep me from thinking about the past and the future. It's so miserably depressing. The weekend comes; okay no work. Still in my RV, alone, reading books and watching old dvds. Every damn weekend I do this shit.

The scenery is beautiful, but it means nothing to me after long, because I can't share it with anyone. I've climbed mountains, seen hidden waterfalls, lakes, canyons, bears, deer, elk, you name it. It means nothing to anyone except me, and it just makes me sad that I'm the only one to see it. I like being a lone on occasion, but as for living day to day, I have a tendency to enjoy being around my crazy species. Go figure, I got my degree in Anthropology!

I don't want to end this ramble on a silly note though, I'm almost angry at this point about my situation. But I can't regret it, it's been somehow good for me. 1 month left to go, it sounded like hardly any time when I thought about it last week, but today, after being here 3 months, it sounds like another one of those 3 months and I want to sleep the entire time by. Oh and by the way the picture is of home; the open plains of north Texas, not Colorado.