couldn't sleep last night, i tried to go to bed at 1:30. but i couldn't get comfortable i guess, and then got angry because i had to be up at 8---which only made it worse. this is starting to happen more and more, and i've found that if i sleep opposite on my bed (that is my head goes where my feet usually are) that this sometimes works.
so the last time i remember seeing the clock it was 4. i am so furious in the mornings as it is; i absolutely loathe getting up at 7 or 8 every morning for work or class. i almost always wake up right before my alarm goes off, i squint at that red blur on my desk and see i have about 3 minutes before it sounds....and of course i can't go back to sleep because it's pointless, and so i force myself up and get ready.
as soon as i wake, i feel that i hate the world with every fiber of my body. my roomate used to comment on how pissed off i looked every morning after i rolled out of bed. i have no idea why i get so angry....i guess just because i hate that i have to be up and i know i won't be coming back home until nighttime.
even worse is i'm so dissoriented every morning as i get myself together and head out. i like to compare it to being drunk. i usually pack my books and set up my clothes for the next day the night before, so i don't have to think and fuck around with it the next morning. don't even get me started on putting my contacts in....that's a frickin mission in itself and i don't know how the hell i do that every morning.
i have to look both ways to cross the streets to class/work like 3 times for each street because i can't process when it's okay to go. several times i've tried to hand the clerk at the dining hall for breakfast my drivers liscense or credit card instead of my student ID. what the hell!?
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