worress

God grant me the strength, to accept the things that i cannot change. i worry too much. so much to the point where i think it actually makes me ill.



so about girls....

i've been very careful the past 3 years being single to not get to close to one in particular. the bar was kind of set with the previous relationship, and though i dumped her i'm afraid of hurting myself and or someone else again.  i've been trying to be as friendly as possible for a long while until i'm very sure i am seriously interested in them.  plenty have liked me, often it's more than i would like them to so early on, so i end up letting them off, well perhaps that's just after leading them on. i'm picky, i think everyone should be, and so far there has been always something(s) i discover that is non-compatable with every girl i start seeing. i see the issue and wonder if perhaps they don't, or overlook it.  then, i lose interest, and they do not ever seem to understand that i'm not wanting to take things further. i've become disgustingly good at handling the scenario actually, and so i continue to cruise along smoothly. 

during a church retreat of all things, i met one that stopped me like, oh lets say a speed bump.  so i tripped over it/her, and things were going really well i think for the both of us at first, we had so many core things in common.  it seemed as though we wanted the same things, i really couldn't see anything wrong with her, and that's something that i've never seen before.  she impressed me like no one had before.  right now, it actually hurts a little that we aren't seeing each other anymore. the thing is, i spoke up first and decided that we should create some space. i think it's what she wanted though as well, and that's what hurt.  i'm not sure if it would have worked, i got so scared of getting too deep, that i was willing to sacrifice something i really appreciated.  after all, i graduate and move off to grad school or work in 5 months or so. i've moved off away from someone before and it's beyond difficult.  it's just a good thing we got out of it before either of us got hurt i suppose. i'm impressed with myself with how easy it was for me to shake off any emotion.  i don't know if that's good or bad actually.


but i've been thinking, if something is that good, and it's right there in front of you....why not take it? what is really stopping you? why worry about the future so much? the experiences that you make right now in these situations can be wonderful, and even if things don't work out in the end, i've come to the conclusion that it's worth the risk. life is beautiful and infinite in possibilities fool!



all i know is, right now i'm growing weary of being solo.  i want someone who i can talk about anything with, share new experiences and ideas, sleep with at night, dream about, argue with, kiss, have sex, laugh with, support...you know, the mushy stuff.  once you've been there and had those things before, you miss them at some point. some of these things can happen while dating, but it's not consistent, and living in that dating-scene for as long as i have makes me feel like all of those elements have lost their authenticity.

omgarsh

wow, i really think i'm losing my mind. *shakes head. nope, still losing it. damn i need to quit drinking.

Welcome!

In Oman.
The people here are extremely kind and welcoming. Everyone greets us with "Hello! How are you?" Which is kind of funny because more often than not that's the only English they would know!  So, when you try to reply and ask 'how are you?' back to them they look at you confusedly. Everyone smiles at me and I get treated like I'm a celebrity, the girls giggle and wink like I'm someone famous. I'm not going to lie that's pretty cool.....

One observation however has caught my attention, and that is the inequality of ethnic groups. Sure, there are class differences everywhere, even back in the US gasp!  But nothing like what I am witnessing here where it appears to be Arabs over Indians, Africans, Pakistanis, and Bengalis. Many of the people I am meeting, usually Arabs can be lazy, arrogant, and impatient with non-whites or Arabs. Some are just downright snobs. Not all of the Arabs are like this, probably not even half are, but many seem to have this superiority attitude.  The privileged stay up all night smoking and drinking, and then sleep until the afternoon and they expect everything to be served up to them in seconds.  The foreign workers carry their heads low and work in fear of losing their job or offending anyone.  I see the Arabs and their families play and litter the public scene, while the Indians follow them around picking up their trash and waiting on them hand and foot in designated jump-suits.  All of the Asian workers have to wear uniforms, and when not at a task, I find them standing behind doors and in corners....out of sight really. Always staring at their feet and keeping their hands behind their backs like servants, it's disgusting. One of the managers of our excavation workers was arguing the other day with an Arab, trying to explain how his people don't know how to serve the Arab because they are afraid to screw up. The inequality of the people here makes the Mexican-work-immigrant issue back home look petty.

That picture is of me and my unit workers, they were all from Bangaladesh. But these guys busted their asses all day in the sun and would end up with about $10 for the whole day. 6am to 4pm.  The first month they didn't even get paid, and yet after a mild complaint, went right back to work because they had no other choice.  A Mexican worker can make that in 2 hours on only minimum wage. And these guys get sent back to their countries once work is finished, they have no job security and may only work when they are needed.  They live in barracks of about 10-12 men per 500 square feet.  They always have smiles on their faces and positive attitudes.  It really makes me angry how they are treated.  How unfair it is. I can't imagine being in their place, I wonder what kind of things they've seen. Do they have families? What are their goals and dreams?

First bit

Okay. Okay. Okay. Good. Okay. Okay. -I said that at least 150 times today plotting points from a $40,000 tripod today as we began excavations. I volunteered to do topographical survey of the site and as a result the word 'okay' has lost it's meaning as I told the guy with the reflector pole it was 'okay' to move to the next point and plot the elevation. But it had to be done to put the archaeological site into the computer, plus it was good experience for me.
But any who, here I am now in Oman. I've been here a week....and to be honest I don't feel like I'm on the other side of the world. Home seems near. But Nope. It's not. It's far. 18 hours on a plane away to be exact.
The environment is deffinitely different. Not what anyone expects the Middle East, coconut and banana trees, white sandy beaches, blue water with dolphins, mountains with green vegetation. But, there are some not-so-surprising things; the dress of the people in one-color robes (dish-dashas), completely spotless and bright I might add, women's faces and heads covered with hijabs, turbans, camels, abundance of cell phones, sand, heat, language that sounds alien, and countless mosques.
One thing that constantly reminds me of where I am is the eerie but magnificent sound of the salat (prayer) call--5 times a day. The echo of the muezzin carries and bounces from mosque to mosque and hushes out any and every noise in the city. Each mosque calls in rythm and their voices are quite moving. In Salalah, whole city appears to go quiet, and all you can hear is the waves breaking on the beach and the muezzin's voice. The scenery is breathtaking from the 3rd floor roof of our villa, so I run up there to listen to the call because it makes the hair on my neck stand up.



Oman is so extremely diverse in landscape. About 120km to the North of where I am there are endless sand dunes and the famous Empty Quarter where the national boundaries are arbitrary.  Halfway that far north are Mountains and cliff faces worn from ancient seas, and humongous, canyon-esque wadiis from long-gone running rivers.  To the south is the Arabian Sea and the endless waves of the Indian Ocean that roll into no other landmass until Antartica. The beach is like 50m from my room!

Some other observations are that everyone speaks relatively good English, and this is by far the cleanest environment I have ever seen. There is no trash anywhere and all public buildings are well kept...I wonder how they manage this?

sun

I just dealt with the best ebay dealer I've ever encountered. I've never been cheated on ebay or anything, and I've got some kickin deals, but this time something screwed up.

First off, ipod headphones suck. This is the third pair of ipod headphones I've bought since owning my mini, and everytime I go to ebay to buy another. Apple sells their headphones for some ridiculous price, and I refuse to buy anything other than ipod headphones because I like the earpiece.

Well, I'm leaving for the summer, so I'm getting pissed that my headphones have not came in that I bought two weks ago, right? So the guy that sells them says he has no idea where they are, he thought he shipped them....and he probably did. The thing is, he got my money, he shipped the item. He really doesn't have to do anything else for me because for all he knows I got the headphones and I want another pair for free. It shouldn't be his concern if they were lost in the mail.

But this guy is kewl, he apologizes for the inconvienience and says he'll send me another pair, but to my paypal address. This kicks ass because that's to my Texas residence, which is where I'm at right now. Furthermore, as it turns out, he's shipping out of Dallas, which means he's likely like 30 min from my house.

ROCK!!

Now it's time to soak up some Texas sun and wash my car.

Update in early June: 

That's the beach in Oman...like 100 ft from our dighouse. muahahahaha!

-Out on the ocean,
there's no one around no one to hear a sound it's just us out here,
Out on the ocean,
Speaking free....

Oman, plus hah

22 more days until I leave for the other side of the f'n planet. I don't think it has settled into my mind quite yet that that is where I will be for this summer.


I'm excited about going over there in terms of the opportunities and experiences of the culture, as well as the archaeology. But I feel like I have this confidence about going over there, as if it is no big deal, as if I've done it before. I suppose I'm glad to feel like this, because I am going over there to work and excavate, not to relax and play the tourist. 


I'm just getting sick of the constant questions and faces I get from people once they hear I'm going to the Middle East. "Why on Earth are you going to a warzone!? Man, you are going to get kidnapped and tortured. You're crazy. Are you going over there to fight? You know how dangerous it is over there?!" 


How aggravating. One, Oman is further from Baghdad than Athens, Greece. Two, everyone over there is not a terrorist for crying out loud. Three, Oman is a peaceful nation with good relations with, well, everybody, especially the US.  Four, the Sultan himself is taking care of me and our crew. Five, people who have been there say that everyone over there is friendly and English is fairly prevalent. Six, even if there was a risk, it's worth it to have an opportunity like this: I'm an undergrad who gets to run an entire crew of workers to excavate, meanwhile I interpret the data and collect artifacts and features that are anywhere from 400-5000 years old.  Career builder.


Anyway, one time, I got super drunk and was locked outside of the bathroom by my roomate who was so wasted he passed out in the shower.  My other roomie watched in humour, as I grabbed my crotch and acted like a little kid, fidgeting around yelling "the loor is docked! I can't go, I gotta go! the loor is docked!"  I don't remember any of this.

Jihad

My professor told me Osama bin Laden is quote "full of shit!" Dr. Ahmed Ibrahim is one of the best professors I've ever had. "...Jihad this and that," he continues "...what does he know of a Jihad? What he is doing is no Jihad to any Muslim. He is just like his words, no substance whatsoever." I never believed the garbage that American society promoted that all Muslims are scary, violent people. And then I saw this was true first hand while in Oman. It's really a vote of confidence to hear intelligent people such as my professor, Ibrahim, talk about the connection between the history of the Middle East and modern foreign policy in a way that makes young Americans such as myself grasp an understanding of the context with the Arabian conflict. Emirs from Arab and Persian nations have donated millions and millions of dollars to set up degree programs and classes in universities in the U.S. that will help teach Americans about the culture of the Middle East. They are brilliant to do so, because their intention is that the struggles between the West and Middle East can be prevented through an understanding and education of the ways of their peoples. They wish for everlasting peace just as strongly as most, and by doing so people need to learn not to be misled by the out-of-context and biased opinions of the media. Osama bin Laden and his movement are lacking culture. The majority of Muslims condemn terrorism, and are embarrassed by his deeds; think of how that reflects on them? And then then the T.V. and newspapers show nothing but bloodshed and hate that in turn fuels misconceptions and generalizations for the second largest religion in the world. Dr. Ibrahim illustrates the progress of Arab culture and Islam both moving seperately, but in a parallel to each other. As they both keep running along side by side, they eventually diverge; Arabic culture stops and stays the same with it's traditions and values. Islam branches and moves away, and in other cases stays near Arabic culture. Osama bin Laden is one of those branches that gets away from the culture and rationalism of Arabic thought. Islam is identified as far back as Muhammad as being a religious administration that is also a representation of the community. In fact, it is often suggested that it was intended to be a democracy by scholars and thinkers of the Liberal Age of Arabic Thought. It's ridiculous in Christianity, Judaism, and Islam that there are people who follow their 'book' of their religion literally and fanatically. Notice how everytime Al Qaeda makes a video they are constantly quoting directly from the Qu'ran. Lots of traditions of the Muslim peoples are things not mentioned in the book, everything that comes with life, including the globalization of the world, cannot simply be put into it 1400 years ago, especially when it comes to the identities of a culture its traditions. There is a remarkable difference between religious and human traditions. I like an example of an old cultural tradition of the Hindu people who practice Sati, whoupon the death of a husband, have his body is cremated, and with him the wife joins his body and is burned alive. When the British Empire was in control of India, they did not understand this behavior and asked the people why they did it. (Keep in mind the Hindi belief of reincarnation). One time a British officer came upon a woman, crying and hesitating to jump into the flames, he stopped her and asked, "Are you crazy? Why would you do this?" She replied, "It is what I need to do, you do not understand, I want to go with him. If I die with him I will come back as a better being than I am now, and I am ready to accept this and achieve Nirvana." So, here is a religious tradition that is to some sad, to others, glorious. But when the British governor referred to the Vedas, the Hindu holy book, he found no mention of this sacrifice in the Sati, so he made a law banishing the practice completely, denying the people of their traditions, but more importantly, forcing them to practice directly the way their book says if they want to be Hindi. And on that note I think some Christian denominations can be categorized as groups that interpret their book too literally, and have void their faith of many, if not almost all traditions that came with the origin of the faith.

baby attempts suicide

3 years old, and with the desire for Flintstones Tylenol, I began my quest. I made sure my mother was occupied with my baby sister and out of sight. I then entered the bathroom, where I climbed up atop the toilet, and from there pulled myself across to the bathroom sink. 


I recalled my observances of my parents opening a door behind the mirror several times to take out those sweet Flintstones Tylenol tablets for me when my head hurt. After remembering this, I gave a nod of approval and pulled open the cabinet. Then, I carefully read the directions in great detail to know how much I could safely eat; the whole bottle. 


The uncanny resemblance to not only the appearance, but the taste of these tylenols toward the PEZ candies was quite striking. My only flaw in this whole scheme was that I carelessly left the mirror door open and the bottle of Tylenol on the sink. Curse my laziness! Actually, if I hadn't covered my ass and cleaned up I may not have been able to tell this story!


After ignoring the call of my mother for me the last 5 minutes while I was on mission, she became curious as to what her 3 year old son was doing. My sloppiness had failed me, and I was busted, and although I was not scolded by my mother, I was thrown into the car instantly and taken to the hospital to have my stomach pumped. I don't remember any part of the entire event being unpleasant at all actually.

at the plate

I'm really seeing the ball well lately. I've got my batting average up to .400 as of last night, I just wish I could hit the ball over the fence for once. I found that I need to sit back more, and keep my weight on my right foot and let my torso drive me around to go through the ball. The first try was a double over the left fielders head. Good results I'd say. I'm stealing bases like it's my job too. Wait, it is my job.

My Reformation class is kind of a beating. I'm Catholic, and I'm not going to lie it's kind of rough to hear about your church being broken apart, mocked, and changed so radically into Protestant demoninations.

But at the same time, I'm learning a new respect for some of the Protestant Churches as well as their founders. I really can't blame them for some of their reforms and beliefs, it's pretty interesting. I now have a great amount of respect for the Reformation leaders as well as the Kings/Queens/Emperors of the nations at the time for handling politics and religion the way they did. Just sometimes I think a few writers got a little too far, Zwingli for example, and began forming ministries and doctrines that even Luther believed were too radical.

orbit gum

Your results:
You are Iron Man

Cool, especially because Iron Man is kind of underrated. I mean, have YOU heard from him lately? No, of course not. Well, he looks pretty bad ass right?

Inventor. Businessman. Genius.

Iron Man 95% Superman 90% Green Lantern 90% Robin 85% The Flash 80% Spider-Man 75% Hulk 75% Supergirl 70% Wonder Woman 65% Catwoman 60% Batman 50%

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

no meat on fridays

"well do you want me to be honest or do you want me to tell you this is the first time?"

well i do wish that i could sleep, i'm so frustrated with that i have to struggle with it all the time. hmm maybe the reason i can't sleep at night is because i do such terrible things! right.

hate it or love it

hate it or love it the underdog's on top
i'm gonna shine homie till my heart stop

alright, Tony, Josh, Scott and I are getting a new place year. even though it's not a house like we wanted, it's a pretty kick ass set up with 4 bedrooms. basically the property owners took 2 apartments, took out the center wall that seperated the two places, and combined them. we get:
2 balconys
2 front doors....weird, but cool
2 living rooms
4 bathrooms
laundry room
1500 sqr ft

all for like $350 a month, and that includes the only 2 bills we pay, electricity and cable/internet. also, it's like half the distance to my classes that i walk to now, and we get out of the party busting trap we are in now.

for something completly different, wanna be depressed? watch either Crash or Requiem for a Dream.

for you, sir

My friend David and I were able to hang out a little bit last week. When we were talking, I realized one of the big reasons why I enjoy his company so much, and that's because he merely asks me simple questions about my life.

Everytime I see David, he talks to me about things that hit right on the mark of subjects that are important to me, and yet they are things no one else I have met asks me about. A conversation with him always includes a questions like, "So how are you doing?" "How is your family?" "How is church" "How is school?" "How are the ladies?" -- and he really wants to know honest answers, and i'm impressed with that because no one else seems to care. Sure people ask "How are you?" but do they really want to know?

An example is that for being someone who doesn't know my family too well, he will always inquire about them, wondering if everyone is doing well and that's really cool to me, because no one asks how my Mom, Dad, brother, or sister are doing. People just don't ask each other those kinds of questions unless they know them well, and not that it's personal, it's just a nice gesture I think for someone to care. Maybe his understanding of conversation is different because he's from Korea, or perhaps that's just the way he is.

Instead of only my Mom or Dad asking about how my classes are, or how baseball is going, or how busy I am, I have a friend who does. I don't know, I guess it's comforting to know someone else wants an update on my life; someone is understanding that classes are bogging me down and making me insanely busy, that I am doing well in baseball this year, or that I haven't had time to try and date girls.

When I think about it, when someone asks "how are you?" no one really expects, or perhaps even cares, about how you are doing. Funny. The other day my friend Tim asked me how I was doing, and I replied "awful". 'Awful' doesn't even rhyme with 'good' or 'fine' or 'okay', but he promptly responded with "That's good to hear, good good." And what makes me even more sick is lately with the stupid "How was your Spring Break", because no one really cares, it's just easy conversation, and you are sure to get the question given back to you where you spit out the same answer you have been giving everyone else the past 20 times.

shoot em'

Two really bad weeks in a row. I'm almost done, but something my friend said made my week last Friday that cheered me up.


"Hey how's it going?" I said.
"Pretty good man," he replied, "there's something I wanted to tell you."
"Yeah?" I said curiously.
"Well, I had a dream the other night, but the setting was kind of like that movie 28 days later."
"Really?"
"Yeah, dude you had a gun and you were shooting zombies the whole time."
"Sweet!"
"Yeah man, the funny thing though was that you had a racoon hat on."
"Like Davy Crockett?"
"Yeah like one of those fur hats. You were going around blasting zombies in a Davy Crockett hat. It was weird."
"Hah, that is weird."
"Well, I just thought I'd let you know."

That was cool.

vodou is nonsense

Ever have a feeling certain people are are talking about you? You're observing them, one person comes up to another, with their backs to you and one person leans in slightly to another and says something. You aren't quite sure if your suspicions are true, but after the listener has heard whatever it is, they pause for a moment, then turn around to glance at you.  Ahh what a give away!  Suspicion confirmed!  Once they see you are staring right a them, they quickly turn away as if they were just looking around, and say something back to the other person next to them.



My watch stopped working back on the 7th. Hmm.  Batteries.

how does he do it?

 While doing homework (go figure) I was listening to my Dallas Stars who won in a shootout again, thanks to Jussi Jokinen. Anyways, here's a tribute to you Jussi, 9 for 9 in shootout goals....geez that's awesome. And Dallas who is now 41-18-3 with 85 points and only 5 points back from a President's Trophy. God bless the Finnish, and I am going to get back to being a self destructive zombie. Peace

ah, please

I can already tell this is going to be the single most worst week of 2006. For starts, I don't know what the hell my problem is; I can't sleep. I tossed and turned all night trying to favor my legs which are all cut up around the knees from baseball. Plus I have a fever, and all night long I just kept thinking and worrying about bs so I never passed out except once. I can only remember getting something like 1 hour and 20 mins of sleep somewhere because after 5:00am I never fell back asleep and watched the blinds in the room get brighter and brighter.

So I feel like hell, and from now to Friday morning I have to.......get cash and wash my uniform for the weekend, finish 100 more pages of this book and type up a 5 page review about it, write a 5 page midterm project for archaeology, study for a quiz both tuesday and thursday, read 4 chapters of Martin Luther's biography, study for a cartography test that the prof said will be very hard, study for a test on friday, and pack to be gone to KC for the weekend.

Oh yeah, do this around work and baseball practice. Sick too? Suck it up. I guess this bitching is more of a to-do list and a way to vent. That's what I made this for though right?

Bring me the disco king

I Saw my boss laugh till he turned red in the face today. If you knew the guy this was something that doesn't and never should happen. He's the kind of person you just get a vibe from that makes you feel uncomfortable.

I told him: "My friend and I think it will cool to see this pornography debate that the school is hosting, and we are expecting the two speakers to really go at it. Plus all the Bible-Thumpers will probably be there putting in their two cents. You know. Really see people at their worst."

I was trying to be only slightly comical, Boss thought this was hilarious and even, yes, stomped his foot on the ground a few times he was laughing so hard. I don't think I've seen anyone do that in person before. He looked uncomfortable; like he forgot how to laugh properly. Plus, it just wasn't that funny.

Smoking is gross.
311 will be here in exactly 2 weeks.
Harvey Birdman is hilarious.
Rumors can and will kick your ass if you are not careful.

piss...

couldn't sleep last night, i tried to go to bed at 1:30. but i couldn't get comfortable i guess, and then got angry because i had to be up at 8---which only made it worse. this is starting to happen more and more, and i've found that if i sleep opposite on my bed (that is my head goes where my feet usually are) that this sometimes works.

so the last time i remember seeing the clock it was 4. i am so furious in the mornings as it is; i absolutely loathe getting up at 7 or 8 every morning for work or class. i almost always wake up right before my alarm goes off, i squint at that red blur on my desk and see i have about 3 minutes before it sounds....and of course i can't go back to sleep because it's pointless, and so i force myself up and get ready.

as soon as i wake, i feel that i hate the world with every fiber of my body. my roomate used to comment on how pissed off i looked every morning after i rolled out of bed. i have no idea why i get so angry....i guess just because i hate that i have to be up and i know i won't be coming back home until nighttime.

even worse is i'm so dissoriented every morning as i get myself together and head out. i like to compare it to being drunk. i usually pack my books and set up my clothes for the next day the night before, so i don't have to think and fuck around with it the next morning. don't even get me started on putting my contacts in....that's a frickin mission in itself and i don't know how the hell i do that every morning.

i have to look both ways to cross the streets to class/work like 3 times for each street because i can't process when it's okay to go. several times i've tried to hand the clerk at the dining hall for breakfast my drivers liscense or credit card instead of my student ID. what the hell!?

long weekend

So Friday night my roomate and I played the role as chemists because we don't know how to mix drinks. Usually we have a case of beer and we start our evening slamming them down between laughs of Monty Python's Flying Circus episodes. But, this weekend all we were armed with was a massive amount of liquors that had to be mixed with either lemonade or hot cider. Nope, it was not that great. We had fun even though we didn't go out anywhere... I have a rule of only drinking on the weekends because that is MY TIME to cut loose.  And my grades are great so I don't feel bad, instead I feel entitled.


.....my roomate stayed up until 4am to see Sin City and he liked it. I thought that was cool because a lot of people for some reason can't get it through their heads that this 'film' does indeed kick ass.

Saturday consisted of throwing some snowballs at strangers in the apartment complex, watching the "top 100 videos" on google, and enjoying some olympic hockey. That night my roomate AJ and I watched more Monty Python episodes whilst drinking alcoholic chemicals, and then headed off to the Love Shack, (friends' house). -Enjoyed some beer pong and good company but for some reason I ended up finding myself walking home in the snow early to pass out at the apartment. Oh yes, on the way back I went to see my sister...instead met one of her friends...who fed me some frosted flakes she was carrying around?

Sunday...geez, I don't remember doing a damn thing during the day, but that night my roomate Josh made tortilla soup and invited some people over. Josh and I went to see Underworld 2, I liked it. Kate Beckinsdale is pretty. Once we got back Scott, AJ, and I hammered out like 9-10 beers in about 2 hours watching Adult Swim. For some reason watching funny shows makes you drink fast. Irony....most of us were dressed in pjs, which was appropriate being that the party was a 'pj party'.  I busted my ass twice on the ice outside, it was hilarious, only because I didn't hurt myself.

Monday was right out. You know, probably one of the best things about 3 day weekends is not just the fact that the weekend is longer but the work week is shorter and it seems to fly by. Reeses is the best candy ever.

just found out that my baseball team isn't going to play this weekend after all. i'm happy because that means i'm going to play in the snow here all weekend and watch monty python. anyway in one of my classes there is a professor who is a pretty bland guy. everyone knows this, especially in this class because this is an upper level class and you couldn't really be in there unless you have had this guy before. so during class this girl sitting next to me keeps muttering insults about him to me and begins trying to explain how dull he is. this is really lame because the significance of her observations are about as obvious as the smell of poop---and the professor, while lecturing, is looking right at me. i wanted to slap her bandana-wearing face and tell her to shut the hell up...i don't even think i did so much as look in her direction. i am so hardcore.

chapstick

well the laundry is taken care of, all 4 loads of it. unfortunately that was the only productive thing i could handle this weekend as i didn't go to a cemetery for my archaeology project, didn't play in the snow, and didn't prevent the Turks from taking over. oh well, at least i made it to Mass...by MYSELF. i dunno i've been going by myself all year, but it's starting to feel more and more like the idea of going to see a movie and eat dinner by yourself. know what i mean?


anyways, chapstick....so i found my chapstick in the laundry. i've been looking for this particular one for like a month. the funny thing is, i lose it all the time and it always turns up; which is why i've had this specific one for so damn long. i think i've had it a year and it still hasn't expired--but who gets the opportunity to have chapstick long enough to expire? i guess i'm weird. ehh that's nothing new. 


so what i DID do this weekend was watch some Monty Python's Flying Circus, The Life of Brian, and all 3 of Sam Raimi's Evil Dead movies. oh, by the way, how are you? you know, people should ask each other that more often and really mean it. i'm guilty of it. no one expects to hear anything different than an "ok" or "good" but does anyone really want to respect a person enough to hear how they really are? tsssss nope. so anyways: i'm alright i suppose, i'm getting by, taking things one day at a time as my mom always tells me. but i'm getting bored with the routine of working my ass off all week and then doing nothing particularly interesting on the weekends. just getting that off my chest.

note: need to do laundry...really badly

So I'm studying in my room and I hear: "FUCK! SON OF A BITCH" a period of silence and then....."FUCK YOU AREN'T EVEN TAXABLE DAMN IT" then a slam against the wall and table, and a peice of paper crumpled up and thrown against the wall. 


That's my roomie AJ getting pissed at his accountantcy homework because apparently he had done a lot of work on a form and then realized that party was tax exempt. Hah. Is that not funny? opp opp, there he goes again: "IDIOT, WHY DID I NOT SEE THAT, DAMN" .....hahaha. Tell me that's not funny!? Aghhh two tests in a row tomorrow and I'm working all on barely 4 hours of sleep the night before. Good job Ryan. 


Good thing is, Mondays I'm busy 7am - 6:00pm, Tuesdays 8am - 7pm, and Wednesdays 7am - 7pm. Now, what's good about this? Wednesday is over and my Thursdays and Fridays are easy and I actually get some time to be social and relax. Plus that's a nice way to prepare for the weekend no? I want to see some movies this weekend too and there is quite a bit I'd like to watch.....and I know at least my friend Josh wants to go.

where's my glasses?

i feel like crap, practice beat the hell out of me today....of course not falling asleep until 3am and waking at 7 doesn't help much either. oh well, 311 is coming to town March 8th which will rock being that they were like my first band i ever liked, and i know most their songs entirely. yeah i'm cool.
you know a kick ass movie? SE7EN. oh and Army of Darkness. i'm gonna chill and watch one....perhaps i'll over do it and see both....omg....i live so close to the edge! i should do hw.

long time

It's been 3 months since I've been on here. I'm a completely different person now. Not really. I'm pretty happy because it's a Friday but I don't really have anything interesting to say. What is it? January? Okay, so I didn't make a New Years resolution because I don't think it takes a year to lapse over to motivate myself to change something. I have more willpower than you. Baseball practice...bye.