карандаш

i have a load of stuff to take care of this week: tests, several meetings, things i told people i would do with them, home work, baseball, go to the mall and buy something for myself for once (shorts), pay rent, and i would very much like to see a movie---it seems so long since i went to a theater and saw anything. oh yeah, and i wanna run as fast as i can in an open field.


mass today wasn't so great. the sermon was basically an overview of the parish's funds and the need for more donations...heh, everyone needs more money.

this weekend sucked. something felt...wrong. maybe something is missing. whether i was at home, partying, playing, or sleeping, i felt strange. i didn't even sleep in my own bed last night, i felt so awkward i slept in the living room. i wasn't happy out at the parties, i couldn't feel the mood to relax and enjoy myself---they were good parties too!  bah what a waste!  playing tennis with some friends yesterday i even said something doesn't feel right...i don't even why i felt the need to say it out loud. i can feel it today, something is wrong. it's like a bad essence or something. my friend Milan even noticed me Saturday. he say's "comrade! what is wrong with you, you are not funny today, you are quiet!" i'm usually making him laugh his ass off, and i didn't even feel like going with him to the mall Saturday like i said i would. boy it's bad when you visually look out of sync.  

the reason the weekend makes me feel empty is perhaps because it's the only chance i have to cut loose and satisfy my social life. if i get nothing out of it, especially after busting my ass all week, it makes me pretty frustrated.  like i wasted an opportunity, because now i have to go through another week. then again, i suppose it could be worse.  yesh, things can always be worse.


maybe i should cut back on my hours for work. it's stressing the hell out of me, but i need the $ for rent and tuition, and at the same time i'm trying to save up so i can open up an investment account. screw it, i'm going to use it all to travel somewhere really far away.