I'm not sure what triggers it. I don't really care. Maybe I don't care because right now is one of those events. I call them "grey".
This morning I feel like I woke up with it. It's rare for me to experience the grey the last few years. My wonderful wife, I have to thank for that. I am guilty of being not my best self when I am grey, especially to her. She deserves the best from her husband.
The pull of the grey is seductive. I can see the way out sometimes. I can feel that I'm almost out of the emotion and that I am past it. However, something about the feeling of being down makes me want to stay that way. It's pathetic. I let myself be grey for longer than I need to sometimes.
Like most negatives that I experience, I go back to my stoic philosophy. I level myself. I ignore the grey. Soon it is gone. But not today. I am still swimming in it.
