Thursday, January 19, 2012

Wilted

uproot by Grace Kim

I'm like a plant that has been grounded and pulled out so many times that my roots have become torn and lost. And yet I have ripped them out myself. Never in my life have I seriously considered that I would stay where I am. It is as if I have always expected to uproot myself time and time again, so often that it seems practically an inevitable and natural course of my life. 

Home is home; in Texas where my mother and father are, with our land and country home. I think it will remain 'home' until I have a family of my own. But as early as high school, I knew that I would leave, I'd go some place new for college. Then, in college I knew that I wouldn't stay there further than my studies, and go some place new for work. And now everywhere that I have worked, I have never thought for a moment that there was any permanence to my dwelling. 

I now realize that my roots have been long gone; there is nothing left to grasp myself into the ground because of the constant planting and break-away. I know my roots can grow back, but I convince myself of the plan to move on to something else, leaving no time for them to truly regenerate.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

What am I becoming?

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

Citizenship in a Republic
Theodore Roosevelt Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

I'm becoming part of an item.  This is good, and I like it, which is a strange feeling for me.

And, I am having less nightmares recently, my dreams are becoming more neutral.  I have more or less just been wandering around in my dream worlds instead of having something chasing me or pulling me around.

And, something is going to happen soon.  Maybe not.

And, I am probably going to vote for Barrack Obama again this year, I still support him, and fear the ideals that his opponents hold.  I think people forget that no President in modern times is ever truly popular among the people in the United States.  In hindsight things always get special attention and perspectives become skewed. 

And, back in 2005 I came to the conclusion that anything by Writer/Director Terrence Malick was worth seeing for me.  He creates such a deep, emotional trance in me that it becomes hard for me to come back to earth and not remain careless, almost in a state of perpetual melancholy.  Here are a few of his recent works:

 
The Tree of Life




The New World

The Thin Red Line