
everytime i leave one, they tell me i'll regret it. i know damn it, i know i might. those girls have all been wonderful to me. i just can't like them back as much as i should, i'm not willing to adjust my life and make big sacrifices for them. i always come to find something about them that doesn't fit with me, and i just lose the attraction to them.
but wow, i've been lucky. the girls i've been with have been the sweetest people i've met, it's humbling to both realize and then experience how much they would do for me. and then i get upset at myself because i don't feel the way about them that they feel about me. which sucks, i can't change that really. but seeing their effort and watching them do things with so much intention and care behind it....i mean they are really working for something they believe in....."us"
know what i'm talking about?
so here i am, single again, and on the end that's not broken hearted, again. i hear getting your heart broken is awful, and i believe it, but i wouldn't know. but you know, being the person that leaves the other isn't exactly fun either. it's not like i've had someone else to run to....it's not like i've left a girl for another one. it's not like i left because i got cheated on, or that they put a gypsy curse on my family. or dog. what? i've left them always because i wanted something else, and i didn't feel that they could give that something else to me.
i guess it's not just one thing, it's lots of things. i always wanted a girl i could talk about my hobbies and my interests about...with luck, they would have the same interests too. i don't know, maybe that's not it, but it sounds good to me right now. i'm tired of talking to girls about their drama, forcing myself to be interested, and asking questions. i'd rather talk about what tree bark is made out of.....?